PDA

View Full Version : Answering Machine at Mental Health Hospital:


monger
24-05-2004, 11:51 AM
"Hello, and welcome to the GameOn mental health hotline......"



-If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.



-If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.



-If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.



-If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.



-If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.



-If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.



-If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.



-If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.



-If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.



-If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.



-If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y &c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.



-If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.



-If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.



-If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you."



-If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lay down & cry. You won't be crazy forever.



-If you are blonde don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

^SwITcH^
24-05-2004, 11:57 AM
Quality ... LOL !! :p