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Old 12-01-2009, 01:15 AM   #1
azrael316

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Some Sound Advice....

I was driving to work yesterday when I observed a female driver, who cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out is window and gave the woman the finger.
"Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, And here's why:

I drive 48 miles each way every day to work.
That's 96 miles each day.
Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.
Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.
There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.
That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.
Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars.
That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day..
Statistically, females drive half of these.
That's 18,000 women drivers!
In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.
That's 642.
According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding.
That's 449.
According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide.
That's 98.
And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.
That's 33.
According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing.
That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.

Give her the finger? I don't think so...
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Old 12-01-2009, 11:03 AM   #2
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Re: Some Sound Advice....

Quote:
Originally Posted by azrael316 View Post

Give her the finger? I don't think so...
given the rest of your advice, I would say the lack of the finger is part OF the problem.
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Old 12-01-2009, 02:17 PM   #3
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Re: Some Sound Advice....

Scott you look at far to much porn.
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Old 12-01-2009, 02:23 PM   #4
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Re: Some Sound Advice....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Platinum View Post
Scott you look at far to much porn.
Is this actually possible. ?
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Old 12-01-2009, 02:44 PM   #5
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Re: Some Sound Advice....

My arthritic wrists say it is so
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Old 12-01-2009, 02:47 PM   #6
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Re: Some Sound Advice....

LMAO!!!
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Old 12-01-2009, 02:57 PM   #7
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Re: Some Sound Advice....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Platinum View Post
Scott you look at far to much porn.
So, if you know where I got the joke, surely YOU were looking there too???

Pot? Kettle?
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Old 12-01-2009, 03:13 PM   #8
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Re: Some Sound Advice....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Platinum View Post
My arthritic wrists say it is so
that isnt merely looking though is it?
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Old 12-01-2009, 03:17 PM   #9
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Re: Some Sound Advice....

Quote:
Originally Posted by azrael316 View Post
So, if you know where I got the joke, surely YOU were looking there too???

Pot? Kettle?
I just visit that site for the jokes....
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Old 12-01-2009, 03:39 PM   #10
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Re: Some Sound Advice....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Platinum View Post
I just visit that site for the jokes....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Platinum
My arthritic wrists say it is so


keep digging
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Old 12-01-2009, 03:41 PM   #11
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Re: Some Sound Advice....

Lmao!

I think youve been caught out here :P
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Old 12-01-2009, 04:15 PM   #12
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Re: Some Sound Advice....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Colio View Post


keep fapping
.
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Old 12-01-2009, 06:57 PM   #13
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Re: Some Sound Advice....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Platinum View Post
Scott you look at far to much porn.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Platinum View Post
My arthritic wrists say it is so
But why is your wrist involved in Azrael's pr0n viewing?
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Old 12-01-2009, 07:00 PM   #14
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Re: Some Sound Advice....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Beanz View Post
But why is your wrist involved in Azrael's pr0n viewing?
WEll, why do you think i have moved to Chesterfield??
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Old 12-01-2009, 07:53 PM   #15
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Re: Some Sound Advice....

Im scared now...
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Old 12-01-2009, 08:02 PM   #16
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Re: Some Sound Advice....

Quote:
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Im scared now...
You mean you can't hear the fapping at the window at night?
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Old 12-01-2009, 08:05 PM   #17
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Re: Some Sound Advice....

I thought that was the rain?
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Old 12-01-2009, 08:21 PM   #18
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Re: Some Sound Advice....

and the

HOOOWOOOOOOOOooooooooooo</silence>

you can hear is not the wind
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